Summer Guilt

Know what I did today?

Well, let’s start with what I did not do…

I did not go to Costco. We are currently out of food in our house. Not that I cook it anyway, but I usually try to provide options for the family to feed themselves.

I did not go to the post office to buy a stamp and mail a letter that my husband had asked me to do.

I did not go to the DOL to acquire a new driver’s license because someone stupid (me) decided it was a good idea to walk around with that important plastic rectangle in her back pocket. All was well until it was no longer in said person’s back pocket. Not sure how I managed to lose that, and hopefully someone is not currently stealing my identity or staking out my house. Ugh.

I did not put the clean sheets on the bed. Hubby is currently napping on a sheetless bed. Hey, I did get them washed and dried…so there’s that.

I did not complete this week’s assignments for my online class. It’s called “History and Philosophy of CTE”. Sounds exhilarating doesn’t it? It’s not.

I did not go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine. I really need to weed my front flower bed. And get some exercise. I should probably go to the gym. Or at least for a run.

I digress.

Guess what I DID do today?

I spent the entire day on the couch with a remote control, a box of Cheezits and diet Pepsi (we shall save the healthy eating post for another day) while marathon watching the first season of Dexter on Netflix.

It’s a weird show, but interesting. It sucked me in. I mean there are 8 seasons, so people must like it.

What is my point, you wonder?

Me too. But I think it’s this:

I am a teacher.

I have summers off.

Summers to get S**T done. To work on my never-ending to-do lists.

Instead I wasted an entire day.

Who cares, right? I work hard all year. One lazy day won’t hurt.

Right?

I still feel guilty.

I mean, how many times have a heard:

“Must be nice to have the whole summer off” or “Some of us have to go to work tomorrow” or “For those of us that have to work full-time…”.

In the early days, when my kids were little, I had a very valid response: Hey, people I’m a full-time mom in the summer. It’s was all about providing experiences for my kids. We stayed busy. I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. Because when you are home all day, nothing stays clean. It’s never-ending meal prep, dishes, picking up various toys (oh those darn nerf bullets would lurk everywhere). I didn’t get to sleep in. My kids were my alarm clock.

“Mom, I’m hungry”

“Mom, what are we doing today”

“Mom, I wet my bed”

“Mom, mom, mom…”

These days, I can’t even claim full time mom status. My kids don’t care when I wake up. Heck, they sleep until noon. They eat when they feel like it. They go outside or leave when they want. And thankfully, they don’t wet their beds anymore.

They do still ask for things (mostly money). My daughter just asked for the credit card to go to the store for some food.

But you see that doesn’t require a lot of effort on my part. Sure, go get my wallet. Actually, just grab the card out of my wallet. See, I didn’t even have to move. I barely paused while typing out these random and pointless words.

Wait, there is still a point.

I feel guilty when I’m not a productive badass teacher mom who is off in the summers.

But…

The next episode of Dexter is calling, so bad-assing is going to have to wait until tomorrow…

2 thoughts on “Summer Guilt

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